Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
