you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
