Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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