He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
