After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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