So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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