All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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