that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
