i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just google imaged poop.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
