Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
