whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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