Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
