Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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