you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
