in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
