I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
