I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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