I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
