i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
