i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
