He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
