"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize