so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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