Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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