she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dick very happy bro
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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