Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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