I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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