She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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