chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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