I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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