I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
