His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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