I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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