you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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