You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
