No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
