it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
