Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
