its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
