Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
