you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
