Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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