she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
