With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
