she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
