I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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