Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
