Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
