I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so let's talk penis.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
