You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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