when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
