Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
