How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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