Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
