i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
