Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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