allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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