Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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