Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize