I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
