I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and i looked up. we had an audience...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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