what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
