Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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