I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
