i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
