Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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