Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
