Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
